2 Decades Late

Super Baseball Simulator 1.000

It’s that magical time of year when most of the American populace turns to baseball to help get them through the drought of sports between the NBA Finals and the start of the NFL season. It seems like the perfect time to review a baseball game. Thankfully for me, Alex Weiss participated in  my 2 Decades Late Reader Request series, and requested Super Baseball Simulator 1.000, a game I have yet to play. Well, I do love me some retro baseball so I popped this one in and gave it the old college try.
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Planet Of The Apes

1 More Countdown

Top 10 Sharks in Video Games


I spent days trying to think of another video game list I could do, that’s related to summertime. I’ve already talked about my favorite beach levels, and everyone does water levels, so instead I decided to count down my favorite sharks in video games.

Sharks are evil mindless killing machines, and I love them. So I’m counting down my favorite sharks in retro video games. Also before you ask, the shark from Okami isn’t here because I still didn’t finish that game.

Without further ado, y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll write this list for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, let’s just begin.


10.) Ohsat

Whenever I get a chance to talk about Ristar, I’m going to take it. Unfortunately, Ohsat from Ristar just barely makes this list.

Ohsat is a purple and blue hammerhead shark who spends time tormenting the citizens of Planet Undertow by constantly lowering and raising the water level.

Ohsat is the boss of Planet Undertow and is the second boss in Ristar. Despite being the second boss, he’s one I had the most trouble with. He constantly charges Ristar, drops rocks, and has barracuda and jellyfish attack.

The toughest part about your fight against Ohsat is that every time you hit him, the water level drops and you have less room to maneuver and evade.


9.) Open Ocean Sharks

Totally stole the above image from Aggro Sky’s Super Giant Awesome Blog on Ecco the Dolphin.

Sharks are a dangerous enemy in all the Ecco the Dolphin games, but one of my most stressful moments was the Open Ocean in the original game.

The Open Ocean is a shark infested stretch of ocean. There are literally dozens of aggressive sharks swimming with and toward Ecco. If they see you, they will attack.

When I was young, I didn’t know about the dash along the ocean floor trick to this level. So instead I spent hours trying to carefully maneuver through the sharks while attacking and avoiding.


8.) Gran Bruce

Gran Bruce is the “Chief Staff” of Jadow Central Intelligence, which is ironic because he’s an idiot. He’s also one of the main bosses in Viewtiful Joe.

Gran Bruce is just a weird villain in general. He’s a shark who has to wear a flippers, goggles, and a snorkle in order to survive. In addition, he’s the “Chief Staff” of Jadow Central Intelligence but often gives out vital information about the group’ vital plans and information. He’s a walking land shark contradiction.

Despite his ignorance he’s one of the toughest bosses in the game. So good luck!


7.) Metal Shark Player

Despite popular belief, I don’t have the Mega Man Battle Network series, nevertheless Sharkman.exe will not be making an appearance on this list.

Instead, the Dr. Frankenstein of reploids, Metal Shark Player, is making his debut on this list. Despite the stupid name, Metal Shark Player is a terrifying reploid.

Metal Shark Player specializes in DNA. More specifically he can study the DNA of reploids and retired Mavericks and revive them. He does so in the fight against him aswell. He can revive the dead Sting Chameleon, Magna Centipede, or Blast Hornet and use them to attack Zero or X.


6.) Sharpedo

I was going to include Garchomp on this list, because he is a flying supersonic landshark dragon… and that’s all I’d need to say, but unfortunately Garchomp didn’t make his appearance until the Nintendo DS Pokemon games, and those are not retro… not yet.

So instead, I get to talk about one of my favorite Pokemon from the Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald games. Sharpedo which is a combination of shark and torpedo, is a duel water/dark type and a badass.

It’s a small shark-like Pokemon with stunning red eyes and is capable of swimming up to 75mph. It’s known for biting and bullying other water Pokemon. A single Sharpedo can bit through an oil tanker with ease.

Yeah, it’s amazing.


5.) Land Shark Gun

Not as amazing as a Land Shark Gun though.

I’m not even sure if this entry counts, because the shark in question is a weapon and not actually a character in a game.

The Land Shark Gun was popularized in Saint’s Row but made its debut the Lucasarts game, Armed and Dangerous. This 3rd person comedy/action shooter is often overlooked. Maybe because it was only released on the Xbox and Windows PC.
Besides the humor, this game’s claim to fame was its wacky weaponry. One such weapon is the Land Shark Gun. This gun fires a small shark into the ground. The shark grows as it swims through the land as it finally reaches the enemy and erupts from the ground and devours the enemy.

A gun that shoots a land shark, must be on the list.


4.) Jonathan Jones

What is better than a shark? A shark pirate obviously!

Johnathan Johnny Jones is the pirate leader of the Bandanna Reds and the Bandanna Blues in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars. When the game begins a Star Piece crashes into the ocean and Johnny and his pirate crew retrieve it.

When Mario and his gang shows up later to retrieve the Star Piece, they must defeat Jonathan Jones and his entire crew to get it. The pirates are men of honor. If Mario’s group defeats Johnny’s gang, but first defeats all of the Bandannas then Mario and Johnny fight in a very tough 1 on 1 duel.

As I mentioned before, Johnny is honorable. Upon defeat he gives Mario the Star Piece. He then aids Mario later on, by stopping Yaridovich who is trying to escape with the Star Piece.


3.) Snacker

I’ve mentioned Snacker in my top 10 beach level list, but I don’t think you all realize just how scary this shark is.

Snacker is an enemy in Treasure Trove Cove. He appears out of seemingly nowhere when you land in the water, and disappears. The worst thing is that you have to go in the water to 100% the level. Besides being threatening, Snacker is faster than Banjo and has a terrifying and familiar theme song.

Most of the other sharks on this list are avoidable or able to be defeated, but Snacker is unstoppable. He can be attacked with eggs, but it’s difficult and not permanent. He will be back.

Snacker smells tasty dinner, stay just there!


2.) Neptune

What’s scarier than a shark? A zombie shark of course!

Neptune is the name of a bio-engineered shark in the original Resident Evil that was subjected to the t-virus. It was made in an attempt to make sharks stronger and able to survive out of water. Eventually all BIO sharks were released by a scientist who became mad.

Neptune is a scary experience. You’re traversing the flooded areas when suddenly a FMV cuts to the point of view of the shark attacking you. The only way to defeat Neptune is by draining the area of water. Then attacking the helpless creature.

Just be careful about getting too close to Neptune in the Gamecube remake.

Resident Evil is a scary game, adding in a zombie-shark in the helplessness of water, just makes it worse.


1.) Jaws

While all the sharks on this list are evil or threatening, the greatest video game shark is also the greatest movie shark… it’s Jaws.

I’m not talking about that sissy Jaws in the NES game, but instead the badass shark in Jaws Unleashed.

In this game you play as Jaws, and it’s just as great as you can imagine. You eat various sea creatures, and the occasional human. In addition, you cause massive property damage by destroying boats, cages, and everything else.

The game itself is stupid, but it is so much fun finally taking control of Jaws and eating everything. Jaws is powerful, and feared by all around him. If you ever wanted to play as a unstoppable eating machine, then Jaws Unleashed is your game.

Plus, you can do this.



GMZ - #18


GMZ #18 – YOLO, and (Not Really) Live from SGC

Nintendo Announces Gritty Reboot for Lolo

By Ray Davies

Fans of the classic NES puzzle games Adventures of Lolo might have something to celebrate, depending on how they react to the details of the Lolo reboot. The first game will be called Adventures of Yolo: Quest for Swag. As well, the characters of Lolo and Lala will be combined into Lola. It is not clear if the character will be a transvestite or a transgender person. The game will still be a puzzle game, but instead of moving eggs around to open an exit, your goal will be to pick up sailors and have them leave the club with you. You can expect it for Wii U and 3DS in time for the holidays.
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buck rogers
monkey king


Land of the Monkey King

Damn dirty, 8-bit apes.

Growing up, Donkey Kong Country was my jam. I played the Snes original more than I care to admit so when I got a GameBoy Color & Donkey Kong Land, I was in Heaven. A portable Donkey Kong game that’s just like the console version but with new levels? Count me the motherfroggin in! The game was a blast and I played it obsessively, mastering each and every level till I could do them in my sleep. Looking back on DKL now, I’ve realized one thing: I was a stupid, naïve kid. Donkey Kong Land sucks.
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xcom apocalypse
Quartet Title

The Retro Critic


I love my Sega Master System, I really do.

It introduced me to so much joy back in the day from Alex Kidd to that Simpsons game where you’re jumping over hats or whatever that one was about.

What it didn’t quite excel at sometimes, though, was transferring arcade games to a console format. Usually, minor changes would occur both with the graphics and the gameplay itself which would either ruin the original or create an ok, if rather different, game.

Quartet was one of those which, luckily, didn’t fatally suffer from that transfer but which certainly ended up looking, sounding and feeling pretty different.
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My Two Gils

The Tetris Book of Design

Some of you might remember last Review A Great Game Day (2014). Well, most of you I hope, unless you have serious memory problems which would probably handicap your retrogaming interests… Anyway, you may also remember that I wrote a review of Tetris (while trying to make as many Russian puns as I could and failing horribly…). Needless to say, I absolutely adore Tetris and could come close to agreeing that its design stands inches away perfection. However, I’m not here to discuss game design. I’m here to help you achieve your perfect self. Become a staggering wall of knowledge that extends beyond the communist motherland!
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Duke Nukem: Endangered Species Screenshots Released

After buying 3D Realms in March of this year, Interceptor Entertainment have been digging through the archives to see what they could find. To our surprise, they’ve found screenshots of the unreleased Duke Nukem: Endangered Species and released them to the public.

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Review a Bad Game Day Approaches!

It is that time once again! To change the battery in our smoke detectors? To swap out the baking soda in the fridge? To dust off our collections of Pez dispensers? NOOOOO! Ok, well maybe but I am speaking to the greatest spectacle on the internet today. That’s right. It is that time of year once again when Review a Bad Game Day rises from its slumber to feed on the despair caused by the worst games the world has to offer.

Every year, 1 More Castle hosts Review a Bad Game Day. Gamers from all over the internet combine to post reviews of games that are totally offensive to one or more senses. It doesn’t matter whether you contribute to 1 More Castle, your own personal blog, another gaming website, or nowhere at all. This is an open invite to all gamers everywhere. Options will be available to link to your work elsewhere or post directly on the site. Also, your game does NOT have to be universally accepted as a bad game. If it is bad to you, tell us about it.

Review a Bad Game Day will be held this year on August 8, 2014. That means that you have less than a month to get to reviewin’. Go pick your games, force your way through them, and prepare to warn all of us of their horror on August 8. When the time comes, we will open up the submission forms on In the meantime, go check out the site to see reviews of horrible games from the previous years. It is your privilege, NAY, your duty to warn us all of these relics from the underworld. The citizens of Earth are counting on you.

Atlantic Canada - Title Screen

Interview with the creator of Atlantic Canada: The RPG

As someone who grew up on the East Coast of Canada playing RPGs like Dragon Warrior and Final Fantasy on the NES, when I heard that a game called Atlantic Canada: The RPG had been created, and by a band from my hometown, I knew I had to try and get an interview with the person behind it. On a sunny afternoon in downtown Moncton, I met up with Don Levandier, the main person behind the game and lead singer and guitarist of The Motorleague, at The Laundromat Espresso Bar. We had a chat about the game, games in general, nerdom, and how it all relates to the band.
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3D realms

1 More Podcastle

96 – Eagle Knievel

…and one day, he went off a jump that was too ambitious, too extreme. He launched off the ramp, and ascended into the sky. No one saw Eagle Knievel ever again, but we know he’s watching over us.

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broken age

Activate Broken Age’s Retro Mode

Are you a fan of Double Fine’s Broken Age? Are you eagerly appreciating the second half of the game, but are wanting to play more now? Did you perhaps want the game to be a little more retro? If you answered yes to those question, head on after the break to see how to activate the games “Retro Mode”.

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BITBITJam 2014

BITBITJam, an online event where people create games for old hardware in only a week, wrapped up last month and the games are now available for your downloading pleasure.

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