GMZ #2-11- Baseball, Metroid Adoption, and Oro Busted

Bandai Namco to Resurrect Old IP

By Zeke Revenant

Bandai Namco Games have announced that they will be resurrecting an old Namco IP, but with a twist. R.B.I. Baseball is fondly remembered by many retro gamers for some inexplicable reason, but Major League Baseball now makes terrible sequels for you to play in your browser. Meanwhile, cramming zombies into every game seems to be what everyone else is doing, so they decided to combine zombies and nostalgia to create something they are calling R.I.P. Baseball. From what we were shown, think Mutant League Hockey or Football, but with baseball and zombies and other monsters instead of mutants.

Many people are already excited on social media, with a common comment being that this could be the first good baseball game since Base Wars.

When asked what kind of zombies would be in the game, slow-moving Night of the Living Dead zombies or faster, more modern zombies, a person working on the game who spoke to us under condition of anonymity scoffed: “It’s the slow ones. I mean, they’re a better fit for a slow, tedious, plodding sport where practically nothing happens like baseball.”

R.I.P. Baseball


No specific release date has been announced, but many are speculating a September or October release as likely, since it would coincide nicely with the only part of the baseball season remotely worth watching.

Samus adopts Metroid – Controversy ensues

By Peter Allen Theodore Eckleston

Samus - Metroid

Samus Aran, space bounty hunter who we haven’t heard much from since her sex scandal with Ridley, recently made news again by adopting a Metroid as a pet. Metroids are a species of organic super weapons originally bred by the Chozo to fight off the Parasite X. Metroids were later discovered by space pirates, and weaponized.

Samus’ decision to adopt a Metroid comes as a controversy, as many groups say that the Metroid was “born for violence” and that because of this, it has “no place as a pet”. Many believe that the Metroid species should be euthanized to extinction. Other groups argued back that the Metroid, as long as it is trained correctly as pets should be. PETA came out in protest of both sides, suggesting that we just let the Metroid free into the wild, then make a lot of parody games involving Metroids.

Samus’ and her press team have no comment at this time, but Samus did post a picture of her with her Metroid on Twitter yesterday with the caption, “Never giving up my baby.” Some celebrities have noted Samus’ adoption of the creature as being possibly connected to her previous involvement with space pirate Ridley. As Mario said to a GMZ reporter, “She’s fucking the dragon, and now she has one of his dogs. No surprise.”

Oro Jailed for “Resisting Arrest”

By Laurence J. Peter

Oro Jailed

Oro, martial artist and Street Fighter notable, was arrested in Los Angeles, California yesterday for refusing to put his hands up at the command of the police. When Oro did not abide by the request, the police fired a taser at the over-140 year old man and arrested him, charging him with “resisting arrest”.

Oro, who almost never uses two hands, was immediately defended by others in the fighting game character community. Ryu, who was there on the scene the night that Oro was arrested, stated, “How can you get arrested for resisting arrest? Don’t you have to do something for them to start arresting you in the first place?” Jeffry McWild of Virtua Fighter fame also defended Oro saying that “Had Oro really been resisting arrest, the police would have never stood a chance.”

Oro is expected to be released from jail on bail this week, with an investigation into the incident already pending.